Poetry Contest
by MimiChicaSVU
Summary: The SVU squad has a poetry slam. I know, it's totally OOC, and it's a sucky setting. But I wrote it at the beginning of school in 2005, and it was one of my first fics, so...eh.


Disclaimer: If I owned them, there would probably be a LOT more stupid things happening, trust me.

"Okay, people!" Cragen yelled as he walked into the squadroom. "In yet another attempt to increase our sensitivity, the Commissioner has decided that our unit is to have a poetry slam. On Wednesday, we will all be gathering in the bullpen to write and share poems of any kind-haiku, freestyle, rhyming, whatever. The topic is yourself. Anyone who wants to be the person who gets to sit out and decide if the poems are of acceptable content and follow the guidelines, please report to my office pronto."

Immediately, most of the men in the room rushed to Cragen's office.

The fateful day came, and everyone was nervous.

"Let's get this over with. Will anyone actually volunteer to go first?" Cragen asked.

"Uh, I will, I guess," Olivia said, looking around and realizing that no one else was going to.

"Okay," Cragen said. "Please stand at the front of the room and read your poem."

"Yo, Liv is my name

SVU is my game

Empathy for the vics

Breaking doors with my kicks

To put my pride on the shelf

I'm afraid of myself

Cuz I don't know my father

And it's a real bother

I'm a bad cop girl

All alone in the world

Except for the 1-6

Some crimes make me sick

When the perp won't twitch

I yell 'bout balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch?

Friends with Elliot, Jeffries, Fin and Munch

Cragen, Alex, Warner, Casey, the Sex Crimes bunch

There's perps I want to kill

They're not quite run-of-the-mill

Abducting little kids

Sold to the highest bids

Until they can be found

Or buried six feet down

HOLLA!"

Olivia grinned sheepishly and sat down, while the rest of the squad clapped.

"Oh, by the way, you're supposed to be snapping your fingers to cheer. Apparently, it's more poetic," Cragen said.

The group of detectives clicked their fingers together, smiling at how out-of-place they all looked.

"Elliot?" the captain pleaded.

"Fine," he muttered.

"Yo, Elliot's here

And don't you leer

Cuz I can kick ass

And throw you through the glass

In Interrogation

The police station

Is where it's at

You down with that?

The room with beds is the crib

Once a kid broke my rib

But she wasn't mine

Which is just fine

Cuz I've got four

And won't have any more

Cuz my wife left me

But didn't you see

That I am out of time

Cuz I can't think of a rhyme!"

"Snaps for Elliot!" Olivia said. "Who ended up as the judge anyway?"

"I did," Munch said.

"Great," Elliot said. "Looks like you're up, Fin."

"Okay..." the ex-narcotics detective said.

"Yo, he's John Munch

But I had a hunch

That if he made up a rap

It would sound like crap

So I did it for him

I hope it won't bore him

And he'll still be my friend

But this is the end!"

The squad snapped their fingers and clapped.

"I know, I know, I'm not exactly Ice-T," Fin said. "Man, that guy is cool. I only wish I could rap like him."

"Did anyone write a poem that WASN'T a rap?" Cragen asked.

"Well, the group of us wrote a poem together," Olivia said. She, Elliot, Munch, Fin, and Casey all stood up and began to recite a poem from memory.

An SVU Day

People to help

Victims degraded

These heinous crimes

Have always been hated.

Cue Special Victims

A quite motley bunch

Detectives like Elliot

Liv, Fin, and Munch.

Liv comforts the victim

The rest of the crew

Sits in the squadroom

Wondering, "Who?"

"My boyfriend," she gasps

Then tells Fin his name

"He did this to me

He's the one to blame."

There's rape kits to do now

And DNA tests

Is he the guy?

Munch hoped for the best.

Stabler arrested

Perp put up a fight

But, to be silent,

He still had the right.

Casey arraigned

Held in remand

He was a risk

So all flight was banned.

Trial was started

Defense was a bore

Through insanity pleas

The prosecution tore.

Guilty of rape

Jailed fifteen years

But the victim's been forced

To relive her worst fears.

On Cragen's desk

The phone rings once more

By the time he picks up

The squad's at the door.


End file.
